transPARENTcy

I find myself frustrated at times because day after day I have to ask my girls to pick up after themselves.   Kids are messy and although I like things clean and organized now, I was messy as a kid also.   I remember at five-years-old my room looked like a bomb went off and I would draw and write on everything.   I mean everything…with a SHARPIE! Luckily, I grew out of that phase and as I became a teenager I began keeping my room spotless and organized, thanks to my parents leading by example and of course giving me chores.   Over the years I have tried every approach to try to get my kids to get it through their stubborn little minds that they need to pick up after themselves, even to the point of yelling.   I am talking Italian temper, lose my cool, yelling.   P.S. that doesn’t work at all!!   I have learned that although I believe every parent loses their head at times and gets all up in their children’s chilly with some yelling, when we reall...

I was introduced to the poem, “On Children” by Kahlil Gibran seven years ago by a friend who was the most intentional father I have ever met.   He was so in tune with his son, and their relationship was truly incredible to watch.   He shared this poem with me and I was so moved that I read it often as I navigated the journey of parenthood.   I still reflect on it often and even more so lately because I have a teenager and I often feel like I am throwing her to the wolves of life.   Social media, peers at school who will expose her to things I would rather she never be exposed to, and the hardships that come with being a teenager.   This poem gives me comfort as a parent and remains a guiding force for me today, so much in fact that it inspired the name of my company, Crossing Arrows. The heartbreaking wisdom of Gibran amazes me, especially considering he never had children of his own.   I trust being childless gave him an objectivity that made...

If you’re a parent, I hope you can relate in some small way, to the account I am about to share with you.  If you aren’t a parent but hope to become one someday, you may want to look away because as my good friend, Hannah said, “hearing that story kinda made my uterus shrivel to the size of a raisin.”  Enjoy. I was anxiously boarding the plane sporting a Spider-Man bag, a computer bag, a large and very hot coffee, and the sign of a headache approaching.  Following me onto the plane were my girls who were all very tired, slightly moody and not feeling so well from a fun and busy couple of days.  We were heading home and we resembled that of hangry zombies because we were all too tired to even eat.  We had all just popped a Dramamine, because of a terrible bout of motion sickness that I had experienced just four days prior.  I was hopeful that the Dramamine would hold the power of two things: to keep us from getting motion sickness ...

  My conversation with Allie in the car rider line this morning... Me: Allie you're going to treat everyone with kindness today, right? Allie: Yes mom Me: And if you see someone being bullied what do you do? Allie: Mom, we just talked about this in school and they said to walk away and tell a teacher. Me: No, first you go and stand up for the kid that's being bullied and tell the bully that kindness will make them happier than bullying and then ask them if they would like to be your friend because sometimes a bully just needs a friend. Allie: And if they start bullying me? Me: Kill them with kindness baby...then look them directly in the eye and tell them that their bullying has no affect on you and tell them we will pray that their heart changes and then you go tell a teacher. Allie: Why would I be nice to them? Me: Because they are acting that way for a reason. Maybe they have a sad home life or aren't treated right by someone in their life and they don't...

I believe all birth mothers are special and selfless and so many go through life without being praised for choosing life for their babies.  I hesitated sharing this letter because I am naturally a very private person, but I feel it is important to share my letter to Pamela for two reasons: to praise her for her selflessness and to encourage others to give praise to all birth mothers.  So often in an adoption case, the birth mother is left without support and I am hopeful that this letter will reach more birth mother's who need to be told that they are the ones who deserve the praise. An open letter to Allie's, birth mother...my sister, Pamela. Pamela, I have delayed writing you (six years to be exact) out of fear, pride and quite honestly no words can do justice to what I wanted to express to you.  I’ll never forget sitting in the red booth in Long John Silver’s when you asked me to adopt Allie.  I thought you were so brave and courageous.  I ch...

  Allie, pre-tomboy (This post was originally written two and a half years ago) It’s been a little over a year since my little superhero-tomboy Allie decided that she wanted to wear boy clothes. Yes, boy clothes. Like down to the underwear. Allie had just started a new preschool with the majority of her classmates being boys. You see, Allie has always had a mind of her own and this was a decision she made. Initially I struggled with the idea of my little girl wearing boy clothes; for no other reason than I just like little girls clothes. I like the flair and bows and leggings and bright colors and cute boots. Well, that ended abruptly for me when Allie came home one day from school and refused to wear the pink daisy panties. I had just bought her pink panties as we were deep into potty training. She asked for superhero panties and it occurred to me that she very well could potty train faster if she had the panties of her choice. So, I went and purchased her...

“I didn’t give you the gift of life, but in my heart I know.  The love I feel is deep and real, as if it had been so.  For us to have each other is like a dream come true.  No, I didn’t give you the gift of life; life gave me the gift of you.”   I was given a heart for children very early in life and I knew that I never wanted my passion for children to go untouched.  I wasn’t sure exactly all the ways my life would be impacted by this passion, but I was certain adoption was one of them. Before I was ever in a position to become a mother, I knew that my life would be touched by adoption.  For years, it was on the forefront of my mind to adopt a child internationally.  I had researched international orphanages in high school and some of the conditions of orphanages would bring me to tears and ignited in me an unquenchable desire to speak up for the children that could not speak for themselves.  So, I began praying that God woul...

Welcome to transPARENTcy!  transPARENTcy is a daily lifestyle blog.  We cover everything from parenthood, home design, food, fashion and the one topic that sets my soul on fire...child advocacy.  As Sue Atkins said, " There's no such thing as a perfect parent.  So just be a real one. "  In our daily posts, you will get an inside scoop on what being a real parent looks like in our eyes. I started transPARENTcy because parenting isn't always easy.  In fact sometimes it is so freaking hard.  Being a parent is truly one of the greatest blessings and there is so much beauty in parenting, but I think often times the hard part of parenting isn't talked about enough and then we have parents who feel alone in their struggles, their journey to raise self-sufficient and kind children and this can cause some of us to lose sight of what our real job is as parents...to be the stable bow that sends our living arrows (children) forward in life.  So, we...